newest entry 2002-02-12 12:16 p.m.

Happy Pancake Day!

Unfortunately, Monkey and I weren't able to celebrate in high style as we had planned, because I was called back for a second interview at that publishing company.

Let me preface this story by saying that as I was meditating last night before teaching, the thought came to me, "I am free." Free to choose the work I want, free to be myself, free to be happy amidst all the signs telling us we aren't supposed to be happy now because times are tough. It was a joyful thought--I felt it through my whole body. This morning when I woke up I prayerfully affirmed "I am free, and joy flows freely through my life."

Then I hauled ass to Long Island City, only to be told point-blank by the president of the company, "[Marketing Guy] and [Editor Lady] really like you and think you have a great presence, but I don't think you'd be 110% committed to this job. You wrote a book for a rival publishing house. This is going to be a conflict of interest. I don't think it would be a good idea to hire you."

I was a little stunned. [Marketing Guy] looked rather aghast at [President fellow]...but had the presence of mind to add, "But the door's not closed, and if we ever need some temporary help, or if you're looking for a publisher for your second book..."

I happily offered my freelance services to them, and then they were friendly and chatty and encouraging, but I was still kind of taken aback. Relieved, certainly, but puzzled as to why they called me in at all, rather than just telling me this over the phone. Maybe it was a test, but it was a test I didn't want to pass. I really didn't want the job that much! So...I'm free.

Anyway, I think this is a message from the universe (or my subconscious) to really get this freelance thing happening.

Meanwhile, I was hired at the Bensonhurst job, and I can basically set my own hours (it's e-mail customer service), but the pay is very very low. It's a nice fall-back thingie so I can start making enough dough to support my Bikram habit again. I was supposed to start training today, but their computer is down. More freedom!

I started reading The Fellowship of the Ring. Very relaxing to read about another world. Only 308 days and 11:21 hours til The Two Towers is released!

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