newest entry 2001-07-24 3:06 p.m.

Here's what's magical about hatha yoga: if you make the effort to just keep showing up, you eventually become able to do even the trickiest postures. "Isn't that how everything works, Aquaplane?"

No, not really. Say for example that you want to learn how to play guitar, there's a period of real struggle during which you have to force your fingers into unnatural positions in order to form chords. Except for the abstract pleasure of "learning a new skill", it's not actually fun or pleasurable to learn chords--it kinda hurts! Then you practice and practice and practice, and although there's a law of diminishing returns, generally "practice makes perfect." You progress in a linear fashion, and performance is fairly predictable given the amount of effort and repetition you put in.

With yoga, you never really know when you're going to "get" something. You may be focussing on your breathing technique for a few days, and out of nowhere, you become able to negotiate a decent split or crow pose. Today I did a forearm balance in class (pincha mayurasana) It was easy, it was controlled, it felt good. But there's no logical reason why all of a sudden I should be able to do a perfect forearm balance today. It's not as if I'd been practicing forearm balances with any diligence, nor was I feeling particularly strong or motivated today. Generally, I have some kind of mental block about swinging my legs above my hips, but today, it was easy as pie. Tomorrow, it may not be. But it was a little gift and it made my day.

I then made myself a polenta pizza and got back to work on my li'l book.

I'm trying to decide if I should stick to teaching as my primary source of income, or try to diversify. At times it feels like the answer is advanced training, so I can become a more versatile teacher. Then I let thoughts like "I have no money" keep me stuck.

Money is a reflection of consciousness...even at the very grossest level it's a measure of effort...I need to befriend this whole "making money" thing.

OK, that's all for now. I'll get back to musical stuff later.

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