newest entry 2001-11-08 9:49 p.m.

I was taking a little walk before to get some dinner at my favorite cafe in Bay Ridge, and I was feelin' at one with the universe and totally fulfilled and fortunate. My body sang with life...I thought, "I could die now, and it'd be OK, cuz I'm all squared up with everything."

But then I noted for the sake of any supreme being who might be listening, "But I don't want to die yet."

As I sat down to eat my sandwich, I started feeling weird--my heartbeat felt labored. Not fast, just heavy and thudding and noticeable. And my breathing felt a little troubled...and then I felt kinda spacey (not so strange since I hadn't eaten much all day). I thought, "OK, maybe I am gonna die now. Heart attack? Stroke?"

But, neither, I'm still here. I walked very slowly home, and to be on the safe side I skipped Bikram.

When you don't require anything from the world or from God, when you don't desire anything, when you don't strive for anything, don't expect anything, the divine will enter you, unasked and unexpected.


From The wisdom of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj by Robert Powell


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