newest entry 2001-10-28 10:56 a.m.

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Overcome some obstacles to enlightenment, dammit

Manage your insecurity...

...and then jauntily play this classic tune at the next hootenanny!

Larks Must Sing Grave Deep Melodies

The walking meditation yesterday showed me how wobbly my ankles are, and how tenuous my connection is to the earth. My basic insecurity causes me to pitch slightly forward when I walk, creating tension in the entire carcass. This is good to know.

I had a student in my hatha class yesterday, a woman who looked to be in her late 50s, early 60s, who wanted my undivided attention from the moment she walked in to the moment she walked out. When she didn't get it, I could actually see an indignant pout on her face. I have never encountered such a demanding student. I think she had just completed the beginner's workshop and this was her first actual drop-in class, and she didn't know the difference, but you think she would have surmised, "Hey, I'm the only one making all these demands on my teacher's time and attention, and I'm holding up the whole class with my complaints and questions, maybe I should just chill." So I'm trying to understand the lesson here. Maybe part of the lesson is just learning to draw the line with really needy students. I was trying to see her as a reflection of some part of me that demands a lot, but frankly I think I have the opposite problem: my approach towards teachers and authority figures is always, "Hey, I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

We had FilmThreat and Hepburn over for risotto last night. They are learning Italian for their imminent move to Italy in 2003. I admire this ability to plan so far ahead.

Then we saw Orleana and JoyBoy and Oasis play at our local watering hole--a delightful show. They did an awesome appalachian-sounding rendition of "Under the Big Black Sun" (this on the heels of their perfect cover of X's "The Hungry Wolf" at my wedding, the fulfillment of a teenage dream) and Richard Thompson's "When I Get to the Border". They had just performed that day at Darren's memorial service up in Woodstock, so it was a heavy day for all of them.

After that we went to a party at our friend's in Midwood, in an apartment just way too nice for a heterosexual bachelor. But he is. We ritualistically changed our clocks and watches together.


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