newest entry 2001-08-06 10:41 a.m.

What are the obstacles to enlightenment?

Any thought that bolsters separation, any action that undermines unity. Our only job is to keep ourselves healthy and purified, and the enlightenment will happen eventually, either all at once or in dribs and drabs. No effort is wasted, and no obstace is insurmountable.

So what are my personal obstacles? Well, I have addictions to stupid things (like the Internet)*, I hold grudges, I believe most of my insecure thoughts, I am addicted to anger and jealousy, I eat for pleasure rather than nutrition. I am not disciplined about meditation. I take things way too personally. These are things I need to heal.

On the positive side, I am disciplined about asana (i.e. doing the physical postures of yoga) and other forms of physical exercise; I try to be positive or at least neutral in my dealings with others; I am not sentimental; I am aware of when my life is out of balance, even if I'm not too swift at remedying (sp?) the situation; I do forgive people eventually.

In other news, last night I dyed A.M.A's hair a coppery red. He wanted to, for some reason. It looks cute and totally fake. I refrained from joining him because I have never dyed my hair before, and if I do, I want it to either look very realistic and professional, or I want it to be a very fun and unnatural color (purple or blue). I have unreservedly positive feelings towards my hair. I have worn my hair in basically the same style since I was 6, with brief departures into short hair, layers, or ill-advised perms.

Had a dream last night that I kissed a woman, but it was unpleasant.

*Have I mentioned that, through a web search on yoga in DUMBO (a Brooklyn neighborhood), I discovered another blogger who writes mostly about yoga and chocolate and cooking? I found her web diary and sent her an e-mail, because she said she was looking for an ashtanga teacher for her co-workers; I got her the number of someone whose class I enjoy at Park Slope Yoga, and she put me in touch with a teacher who she thought I might like. These are the kinds of nice exchanges that make me a fan of the Internet.

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