newest entry 2001-10-23 10:00 a.m.

Tomorrow I have an audition of sorts to become a job-readiness/life skills teacher...I am giving a demonstration class about "goal-setting." And of course, now that I'm learning about goal-setting, I'm realizing how many wildflowers and weeds grow in this garden called Aquaplane's life. I don't plan things, and sometimes that works out well and sometimes it means more chaos than I can deal with.

Last night a friend of mine came to my class. This rarely happens--my yoga life and my music/social life are quite divided. Anyway, I became acutely aware of my behavior...I discovered that I was "trying to give a good class" for the sake of the friend's opinion about me rather than for the sake of being a present, caring teacher. As soon as I became aware of this directive from my ego, I relaxed and stayed present with all my feelings, sensations, thoughts, and just breathed through it. Pretty soon it dissolved and I just got right back into the moment of teaching. Very nice. This is where vipassana comes in handy. In terms of actual meditation, I'm a mantra girl from way back, but the vipassana/mindfulness attitude is helpful in my waking, working, walking life.

Coffee is the last thing I should be drinking. I'm premenstrual, kinda grumpy and I'm high-strung to begin with, and I should be drinking tea. But, no, coffee is always my beverage of choice. Lately I've become fond of Chock Full O'Nuts hazelnut coffee, which anyone can buy right in the neighborhood supermarket. Doesn't have to be fancy, no sir. Just caffeinated.

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