My fourth of July, in Monkeydale, NY: visiting my husband's second-cousin's former dairy farm upstate. Cousins, in-laws, a big chunk of family, all farm-raised, wholesome folks with excellent educations and pleasant but bland personalities.

It makes me feel blissful to watch Coney, his ears all a-flap, trotting through cornfields, encountering horses and deer for the first time. Hazy heat no threat as we sloth about, poolside. Fantastic fireworks in the evening, sponsored by a local farmer.

I'm so fatigued I'm writing like a beatnik.

Today we drove back home with the Monkeys-in-Law in tow; they are staying in the city. Because their hotel doesn't allow pets, we are sitting for their adorable mini-poodle Boney. Boney is the world's second-cutest dog. I am greatly encouraged by the fact that Coney is being courteous if not collegial with him.

Tomorrow we go set Monkey's Grandma's tombstone. It is an all-in-law weekend.

Monkey is able to spend days and days and days with his parents, cousins, siblings. I find it kind of tiring. I find myself making really outrageous, though never mean-spirited, jokes to keep myself amused and to demonstrate that, while I am the under-educated, under-functioning insane girl that Monkey married instead of the cute rich perky Bennington osteopath from a good family he dated before me, that I have some streak of life in me.

In reality I demonstrate this to exactly no one, and need not, but I am compelled to keep trying. I am a headcase.