newest entry 2003-01-04 8:48 a.m.

I was talking to FilmThreat (well, e-mailing) about the crazy pattern of adult friendships. He'd remarked that friends he made in 1994 are not neccesarily any closer to him now than friends he has made in recent years.

What I've observed in my own life is that my closest friendships are formed when I'm most vulnerable. I guess they call that "being in the trenches" with someone. I formed bonds at Yogaville that are lasting and deep, even though I didn't know those folks for that long, and I rarely see any of them on a regular basis. But we were together in a very emotionally nekkid way, and we helped each other through it instead of taking advantage of the vulnerability. That kind of thing goes a long way.

And then there is the other forceful dynamic of friendship, summed up in a quote by one of GeneClark's friends, that "nothing propinks like propinquity." It's the people you see everyday that end up being your friends.

The doctor told me she didn't know what was wrong with my ears, but she cleaned 'em out anyway, and gave me ear drops and Claritin. So I hedged my bets by calling a Christian Science practitioner, too. That's not really the way you are supposed to approach healing, but it is the way that I have done it this time, and through some combination of attitude and behavior and placebic antihistimine, I do feel about 50% better.

I was feeling sorry for myself today for a variety of reasons, but after work I had another rehearsal, and that took me right out of that mode. Music--any kind of innocent creativity--seems to be the antidote to victim-y thinking.

I've hit a wall in my McEwan reading. First Love, Last Rites was so undistiguished that whatever light I'd had on to guide me through his darker material got snuffed out. I'm back to escapist fare--Agatha Christie and that. The one I'm reading now is just plain trashy--and shockingly anti-Semitic! Serves me right for tryin' to escape.

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