newest entry 2002-05-30 9:19 p.m.

Watching this morning's events (on Channel 2, the only station that didn't have yackety newscasters disrupting the solemnity of the processional) echoed that first horrible week after 9/11, when all we could bring ourselves to do was watch CBS with our jaws open.

The Ground Zero ceremony this morning was moving, although at this point, after so many months of intermittent grief, I know I have an internal switch that I can flick that either lets me feel sad about this stuff, or lets me not feel anything. Especially if I'm watching it on TV. Too many tears, too many tears. And so many unrecovered bodies--adding to the surreal mystery.

The day got noticeably lighter when Cookie and Cookie Boy came to visit--CB's first Brooklyn jaunt. He was a little fussy, but mostly a delight. He is a happy, gurgly, laughing baby. Hanging out with those two all day felt just right--I would so love to be a housewife and mom. I mean it. A rockin' housewife with a home studio.

I played Soothing Sounds for Baby for CB, but realized after a few minutes that it isn't very soothing at all--it sounds more like Stockhausen for Schizophrenics.

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