newest entry 2002-05-14 9:25 p.m.

I haven't done a product round-up in a while, so I'll briefly enthuse about some thngs I've been enjoying that aren't books, albums, or yoga classes.

I used to be jes' wiggy over Fresh Samantha, but let's face it, there's something slightly...slimy about their beverages. And I'm not knocked out by any of their new flavors. So I've switched allegiances to Naked Juice, which tastes much fresher. They also seem to contain more actual juice per serving, and they don't have those inane stories on their labels like FS. (You know what I mean, "And then Samantha fell into a vat of limeade and durn near drowned til Sparky pulled her out by her earlobe...")

Another drink that I've been guzzling is Smart Water by Glaceau. It tastes good (I have become a discriminating water drinker) and the bottle design is as smart as the water: It's slim and phallic and metallic like a rocket ship of power and purity travelling at top speed through your veins, delivering you of dehydration.

I must now speak out against a product that is absolutely useless. I am shocked that it is still on the market. Folks, I'm talking about Cottonelle Aloe & E toilet paper. It's toilet paper--are ya with me?--imbued with grease so that your anus doesn't chap. But all the Aloe effectively does is cause the toilet paper to bunch up and pill and cling, creating a hazardous situation in your pants. Oh, how could this have even gotten past the product development phase? Monkey and I accidentally bought a huge wholesale-sized lot of them a while back, and it seems wasteful not to use the package up, but it's killing me. Give me good old Marcal toilet paper any day. They were the first major brand to use recycled paper in their product. I wrote them a letter many years ago to laud them, and they sent a nice letter back. I was going through a really painful break-up, and it was nice to hear from them.

If you've been wondering about whether to join Netflix or not, I can endorse them heartily. If you have a DVD player, and you watch films consistently, then it's very much worth the $20 a month. They have a fantastic selection, and you can keep the discs as long as you want. This policy comes in handy if you want to rent a series (like The Sopranos second season).

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