Faithful readers of Dear Diary know that I often prepare for slumber by watching Friends in syndication at 11:00 PM. Tonight, I had the mind-warping experience of watching the show in prime time.

Gadzooks! What happened to the Friends? Monica looks emaciated and sickly, Joey has big bags under his eyes, Rachel is really skinny and can't move her jaw, Phoebe's got this hard look in her eyes, Chandler is porky and Ross...well, Ross looks exactly the same.

I think they should have ended this show about two years ago, although I did get a good laugh when my old crush Elliott Gould said, "Why can't I remember this dog?"

Speaking of dogs, did I tell you I'm in the market for a miniature poodle, specifically an apricot poodle who has been trained as a therapy dog? Well, I yam, Olives! but not a poodle who's been all foofed-up...just a regular, afro-wearing natural poodle.