newest entry 2001-11-09 2:50 p.m.

More Bikram frustration this morning. I was puzzled by this weird heart problem, and debating whether to go into class today, but my decision was made for me: I misread the schedule and got there an hour late.

This gave me time to get my hair trimmed finally (and I'm dyeing my blonde strips purple today for a change of pace) and read the Profiles of Grief in A Nation Challenged, which made me get cry-ish, which made my heart feel all better. Really. I think I just needed a good sniffle, as I had been holding back a little lately.

Bit the bullet and took a regular ol' vinyasa class at the beautifully-appointed Yoga People and I have to say, it seemed so easy. And temperate. And frankly, a little noneventful, even though the teacher was very sweet, with a melodious Swiss (German?) accent.

This from a person who used to view vinyasa classes with the the same trepidation one has for gym class in high school (well, when one is a spazz). Part of it is that I can hold the postures with more awareness than I used to, and part of it is acceptance of my limitations--recalcitrant hips, kooky knees, unstable ankles, etc...

It was nice to do some Surya Namaskar for a change!

It occurred to me--again-- during class that the crux of the whole matter always goes back to yoga citta vritti nirodah: "yoga is the control of the fluctuations in the mind." That's it. It's not about "having a good class" or positive thinking or being chipper or being fit, it's about letting the mind get quiet and then seeing God's beauty everywhere. Everywhere. And I got a little taste of that today, so hoorah!

Tonight, Monkey and I are seeing a couples counselor. I'm not sold on psychotherapy as a profession (quite an admission from a former Psych Major), but if it gets us out of our own heads for a moment, that's cool. It's covered by insurance, and it's an excuse to go to Park Slope (and hopefully get a cappucino muffin at Ozzies!)

Then we're going to see Glenn Tilbrook, one of my songwriting idols, at the Village Underground. I am excited--the last time I saw GT I was 15 years old.

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